Quinn's Plea
by beyondtheneonlights
Summary: Quinn's struggle with her faith while she is pregnant. Kinda angsty one-shot.


**A/N - posted on rachel_quinn livejournal under the same name. Also, listen to Kelly Clarkson "Irvine" while reading, that is the song I used :) Hope you enjoy**

_Are you there?  
>Are you watching me?<br>As I lie here on this floor._

News of my pregnancy broke to my parents, I was too afraid of how they would react to say anything, which was not my most shining moment, because here I am, 16, 4 months pregnant and kicked out of my parents house, my home. I was not expecting them to do this, they were supposed to love me no matter what, yet here I am.

_They say you feel what I do,  
>They say you're here, every moment.<br>Will you stay?  
>Stay til the darkness leaves?<br>Stay here with me._

I stand in front of Hopewell Roman Catholic Church, struggling to find it in me to open the doors. I was baptized in this church, had my communion and conformation here, both my parents and my sister got married here, and I was supposed to follow in their footsteps. Little Quinn Fabray, the perfect child, the golden one, just fell crashing to the floor. If my own blood family hate me, God surely will. As I open the doors, the first thing I see is the large cross, internally ridiculing me for my wrong doings. I silently pray as I walk in the empty church, sitting in the last pew, just in case I change my mind while I'm here, I can run out. I wouldn't dare sit in the pew reserved for my family every Sunday. Russell and Judy Fabray kicked me out before letting me explain myself. Before letting me plead that I need them to help me through this. They are more concerned about their image than their own daughter being homeless. I get it, to an extent; my image is the only thing that matters to me at McKinley, but that is due to years of being "the perfect child". My image and Rachel.

_I know you're busy  
>I know I'm just one, but you might<br>be the only one who sees me  
>The only one to save me<em>

Rachel and I have been seeing each other in secret for 3 months. She was the first person I told when I found out I was pregnant. I'm fairly certain she cried more than I did, but she held me tight and told me everything was going to be okay. She hatched the plan that I'd tell Finn he was the father, even though she and I knew it was Puck's baby. She didn't judge me, she didn't really say much of anything. Finn and I had broken up three weeks before Rachel and I got together. It's not a long time, but if you could see the way she treats me, you'll know why I'm with her. She doesn't treat me like I'm Head Bitch in Charge Quinn Fabray, or Quinn Fabrary strict upbringing of Russell and Judy, she treats me as Quinn. And in the quiet moments when we are alone, I realize she is the only one I want by my side. The moments where everything is still, and her arm is wrapped around me are the moments I treasure the most now that I have nowhere to go. No one in McKinley knows about Rachel and I, besides Puck, Santana and Brittany and they know not to say a word.  
><em><br>Why is it so hard?  
>Why can't you just take me?<br>I don't have much to go  
>Before I fade completely<em>

I can't tell you how long I've been sitting here for, the janitor gives me a sympathetic smile as he sweeps through the pews on my right. My phone buzzes in my pocket, an indication that I've got yet another unanswered text. I just need to find my peace here before I can leave. I sit another hour before Mr. Summers spots me, he gives sermons every Sunday about how we are all God's children and that we must fulfill his services during our time on this earth to get into the pearly gates of Heaven and see our maker.

_Can you feel how cold I am?  
>Do you cry as I do?<br>Are you lonely up there all by yourself  
>Like I've felt all my life<br>The only one to save mine_

"Hello Quinn, what are you doing here?" I can't look him in the eyes as I mumble 'I'm pregnant'. Tears stream down my face as I look up at the cross.  
>"He's going to hate me…" my voice isn't my own, it's hardly strong.<br>"He doesn't judge like you think Quinn. Maybe this is his way of showing you that you're human, you aren't perfect, nor am I." He's trying to reason and wrestle with the thoughts in my head. He pats my hand before he gets up. I wondered if God would still love me if he knew I was gay too, it'd be like a double edged sword full of sin right into his heart.  
>"It'll be okay Quinnie." I hear Mr. Summers voice say out loud and the ghost of my mothers voice echo in my head.<p>

_How are you so strong?  
>What's it like to feel so free?<br>Your heart is really something,  
>Your love, a complete mystery to me.<em>

After sitting in the church for a half hour after Mr. Summers left me with my thoughts, I picked up the bag of clothing and other items that I was able to throw together in the half hour packing spree that was given to me. Checking my phone, I see that the news of me getting kicked out has hit Brittany.

_**B: **_Q, where are you? I've tried calling. Your mom called my mom all flipped out that you were pregnant and kicked out of the house, my mom asked me if I knew and I told her that I knew you were pregnant. After listening to your mom rant and rave, and a hug from my mom, she said you can stay here for a few nights__

I sighed, as least I'll have a place to stay for a few nights, slipping on my jacket and putting my phone back in my pocket, the rest of the text messages could be answered tomorrow.

Tugging the heavy doors and a heavy heart open, I see a worried brunette sitting on the church steps.

"Brittany called me after she couldn't get in contact with you. This was the first place I thought to look." She said as she stood up, back still facing me. I fought the urge to run and crash into her arms until she turned around.  
>"I don't have anywhere to go but here Rachel, once they find out we're together they really wont take me back home."<br>"Who says you have to go back?" she turns around fully facing me with her arms outstretched and I collapse into them.  
>"It'll be okay, baby, I promise."<p>

One of the things I've always admired about Rachel, her courage and strength outweighed her attitudes and abrasiveness. In the time of need, she was always fixing people, putting anyone before herself. She's proud of who she is, of her talents, and I cannot wait to watch her shine one day.  
><em><br>Are you there, watching me?  
>As I lie here on this floor.<br>Do you cry, do you cry with me?  
>Cry with me tonight.<em>

I let Rachel lead me to her car, her hand never leaving mine as we drive to her house. Her fathers had set up the guest room for me when Rachel told them I was pregnant, because they knew my parents wouldn't support me when they found out, and in my heart I always knew that too. I couldn't be more grateful to the girl I have next to me, tears slowly escaping both of our eyes, telling me she loves me and that everything will work out.

_Are you there?  
>Are you watching me?<em>

For the first time in my life, I've truly felt peace and love.


End file.
